1 00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,958 This is the headquarters 2 00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:52,916 of an Italian mega company in the 80's. 3 00:01:53,125 --> 00:01:56,833 The crisis of the country and the galloping devaluation 4 00:01:57,041 --> 00:02:00,791 have finally generated in the white-collar class 5 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:06,750 a new, incredible, morbid attachment to work. 6 00:03:03,541 --> 00:03:06,041 - Hold the safety net! - The nets! 7 00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:52,250 - I'm done! - We are done! 8 00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:54,875 - Bye, guys! - See you on Monday. 9 00:04:21,416 --> 00:04:24,083 What's up, accountant? How are you doing? 10 00:04:24,291 --> 00:04:26,666 - Everything okay? - Wait... It's working. 11 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:29,666 I only have a very slight discomfort in my knees. 12 00:04:29,875 --> 00:04:31,958 - Knees. - Okay. 13 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:41,916 A ticket! 14 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,458 - Here, good woman. - But I'm your wife, Ugo. 15 00:04:54,666 --> 00:04:57,416 Sorry, Pina, I didn't recognize you. 16 00:04:58,166 --> 00:04:59,791 Just kidding. 17 00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:07,541 - Why did you come? - I came to get you. 18 00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:10,750 It's been a long time since we went to the movies or window shopping. 19 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,041 To the movies or window shopping? You've gone crazy. 20 00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:16,541 Come on, let's go home. Quickly! 21 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:20,833 Come on or I will lose everything. Come on, quick! 22 00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:24,958 Every night, the inhabitants of the city had, like Fantozzi, 23 00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:27,708 the same frenetic urge to go back home. 24 00:05:27,958 --> 00:05:31,750 An empty space! It's mine! 25 00:05:35,791 --> 00:05:39,750 - Excuse me, but I'm in a hurry. - Good day, how are you? 26 00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:43,166 - I pass on the roof on your car. - Sure, go ahead. 27 00:05:43,375 --> 00:05:45,208 - See you tomorrow. - Goodbye! 28 00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:49,500 Make way! 29 00:05:49,708 --> 00:05:52,666 Pina, the keys! 30 00:05:54,125 --> 00:05:55,791 Come on! 31 00:05:57,916 --> 00:06:01,625 - Excuse me, madam. - What manners! 32 00:06:07,625 --> 00:06:09,791 The keys! Holy shit! 33 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,166 Give me the keys. 34 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:17,000 You should have given them ready. Where is the right one? 35 00:06:17,208 --> 00:06:21,500 You have to put something to recognize it, color them. Paint them! 36 00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:27,916 It's Mariangela, Ugo, our daughter. 37 00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:30,833 Just kidding, I did it to amuse the little girl. 38 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,791 - Careful, I've waxed the floor! - You could have warned me! 39 00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:38,291 Where is that thing? 40 00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:41,000 I need it. 41 00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:46,416 It was here... It has always been here. 42 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,958 Here it is! 43 00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:04,916 Fantozzi, like many other unlucky people, 44 00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:08,708 had been crushed by a new mortal enemy, 45 00:07:08,916 --> 00:07:10,958 the remote control. 46 00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:13,958 He was now, like everyone else, a remote control addict. 47 00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:17,250 During a terrible withdrawal, 48 00:07:17,458 --> 00:07:21,291 had also established the new condominium record, 49 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:26,333 380 channel changes in 26 seconds flat. 50 00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:29,083 - Stop it! - Leave it! 51 00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:31,666 - I'll throw it out the window! - I'll kill you! 52 00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:34,041 Better death! 53 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,583 Shall I bring it back? 54 00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:46,291 At a certain time of night, families retire defeated. 55 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,208 It is the critical hour, the hour of "Forbidden", 56 00:07:49,416 --> 00:07:54,250 of "Oralchannel" and "Super Porn Show". 57 00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:41,000 Wait. 58 00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:23,333 I'll put it here for you. 59 00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,375 How nice! 60 00:09:59,791 --> 00:10:02,458 Go... Go... 61 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,500 I'll give you my hand. 62 00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:09,583 What a girl! 63 00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:14,583 - Take off your panties! - Ugo! 64 00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:22,208 Pina! 65 00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:25,750 I wouldn't want you to think that me and this young lady... 66 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,375 Who is he? Here... 67 00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:32,750 As you see, I was saying the evening prayers 68 00:10:32,958 --> 00:10:34,833 with this priest. 69 00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:40,750 I have been watching him and he says interesting things. 70 00:10:40,958 --> 00:10:46,583 This priest really makes miracles. 71 00:10:46,791 --> 00:10:49,375 Pina, you know what? 72 00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:52,625 Tonight I feel a strange fire inside. 73 00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:55,083 If we go to the other room you know what I'll do? 74 00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:57,500 I'll split you in two like an apple! 75 00:10:57,750 --> 00:11:01,208 - Yes! - No! Don't do that. 76 00:11:01,416 --> 00:11:03,375 It doesn't change. 77 00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:05,125 What the... 78 00:11:11,958 --> 00:11:15,875 The skiing week was one of the most tragic mandatory retreat 79 00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:19,416 of Fantozzi and of his unlucky colleagues. 80 00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:23,041 Prudently, this time, they had enrolled in September, 81 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:26,958 but their turn was still mid-May of the following year, 82 00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:29,708 almost at the beginning of the summer. 83 00:11:29,916 --> 00:11:32,958 - Fantozzi isn't here yet? - Not yet and we have 1 minute left. 84 00:11:33,166 --> 00:11:36,583 He is always the same. If he doesn't come, it's better. 85 00:11:36,791 --> 00:11:39,250 - But he paid his part... - Here he is! 86 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,125 Where is he? 87 00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:47,125 So, gentlemen, get in! 88 00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:49,333 We're finally leaving. 89 00:11:50,083 --> 00:11:52,541 Slowly, one at a time, let's not do as usual. 90 00:11:57,500 --> 00:12:01,541 - Hurry up, Sweetcheeks! - Is he deaf too? 91 00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:07,791 - Excuse me, where are the sleepers? - Further ahead. 92 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,625 Where? 93 00:12:10,916 --> 00:12:12,541 Where? 94 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,416 Come on! 95 00:12:24,666 --> 00:12:27,083 Sir, come up from here. 96 00:12:27,291 --> 00:12:29,250 It is leaving, come on. 97 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:32,125 - My friends are there. - You'll join them on the train. 98 00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:34,875 - I'll take care of it. - Be careful with my skis. 99 00:12:35,083 --> 00:12:37,333 Don't worry. 100 00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:39,541 The helmet is very heavy! 101 00:12:39,791 --> 00:12:41,875 I'll throw this one. 102 00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:40,041 Sorry, I lost some sensitivity in my feet. 103 00:13:40,916 --> 00:13:44,875 - Finally! Here he is. - Fantozzi, where have you been? 104 00:13:45,083 --> 00:13:48,500 - I will tell you later. - Be careful. Be careful... 105 00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:52,708 - I knew it. - Sorry, I didn't do it on purpose. 106 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:54,541 Easy! 107 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:57,291 - Please! - All right... 108 00:14:00,041 --> 00:14:01,583 Sorry. 109 00:14:01,791 --> 00:14:04,333 Sweetcheeks, we have already been to the restaurant car. 110 00:14:04,541 --> 00:14:07,250 - I'm going there, I'm very hungry. - It's closed now. 111 00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:09,666 - You don't eat anymore. - Yeah! 112 00:14:09,875 --> 00:14:11,875 - Is it closed? - Yes. 113 00:14:12,083 --> 00:14:14,416 But there's a station, I'm safe. 114 00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:21,625 I would like a basket, please. 115 00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:24,000 - Can I have a basket? - Right away, sir. 116 00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:26,458 - How much is it? - 9.000. 117 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,625 Wait. 118 00:14:29,958 --> 00:14:32,958 - Do you have change for 50,000 lire? - Sure. 119 00:14:33,166 --> 00:14:34,791 Thank you. 120 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:39,250 Give me the change, I'm afraid it's going to leave. 121 00:14:40,416 --> 00:14:43,583 - Let's go. - Will you give it to me, please? 122 00:14:43,791 --> 00:14:47,291 It is leaving! Give it to me! 123 00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:53,458 Give it to me... 124 00:14:55,333 --> 00:14:57,166 Ten to you, ten to me. 125 00:14:57,375 --> 00:14:59,583 Ten to you, twenty to me. 126 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:03,333 For 50,000 lire he bought: a plastic fork, 127 00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:06,291 a small plastic knife, plastic toothpicks, 128 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:09,583 a plastic cup and a chicken wing. 129 00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:13,083 Made of plastic. 130 00:15:18,916 --> 00:15:20,916 And a rotten apple. 131 00:15:43,125 --> 00:15:47,166 - Easy... Easy! - The hand! 132 00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:49,916 But what manners are these? 133 00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:54,041 If you let me pass... 134 00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:55,875 The foot! 135 00:15:56,083 --> 00:15:58,625 This is my bunk. 136 00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:02,166 What an effort! 137 00:16:02,916 --> 00:16:06,250 It's really comfortable here. 138 00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:10,500 I'm going to take these boots off. 139 00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:25,375 Sleep tight, I'll wake you half an hour before Ortisei. 140 00:16:28,583 --> 00:16:30,583 There wasn't much to rest easy about. 141 00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:34,375 Filini was a heavy sleeper. 142 00:16:34,583 --> 00:16:38,916 But even more feared was Mr. Calboni because of an ailment 143 00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:43,791 by the scientific name of "ventilatio intestinalis putrens". 144 00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:52,458 The air immediately became unbreathable. 145 00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:08,958 What a stench! 146 00:17:09,166 --> 00:17:13,250 Sweetcheeks, go to the toilet instead of plaguing us with these winds. 147 00:17:13,458 --> 00:17:17,833 You bragged about having participated in farting competitions... 148 00:17:18,041 --> 00:17:20,250 Me? What are you saying? 149 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,833 Fantozzi, we can't breathe anymore. 150 00:17:23,666 --> 00:17:29,166 - Go outside to pass air. - You are wrong. 151 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:33,333 - Go outside, go! - That's a mistake. 152 00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:36,333 - Please, go out! - Go! 153 00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:40,791 - Calboni always bragged about it.... - You should have taken a single. 154 00:17:41,041 --> 00:17:44,916 Go out! We can't resist! 155 00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:47,708 - Get out! - He's such a pig. 156 00:17:47,916 --> 00:17:49,958 - A pig? - You're a pig. 157 00:17:50,166 --> 00:17:52,375 But it's you, Calboni.... 158 00:17:52,583 --> 00:17:57,041 One can hardly breathe here and he kills us with his gas! 159 00:17:57,250 --> 00:18:01,833 Fantozzi was readmitted to the group only the next morning, 160 00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:06,416 when they got in the little train of Val Gardena. 161 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:24,125 - Here is the snow! - Down, guys. 162 00:18:24,333 --> 00:18:26,333 I'd like to make snowballs. 163 00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:29,750 I want to make a snowman. 164 00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:37,458 Excuse me, Filini, where is the snow? 165 00:18:37,666 --> 00:18:40,833 Don't you read the sign? Ortisei. 166 00:18:41,041 --> 00:18:45,375 There is always snow in Ortisei. Now the bus will take us to the snow. 167 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,916 The Filini organization is always perfect. 168 00:18:48,125 --> 00:18:49,958 - Filini! - Who is he? 169 00:18:50,166 --> 00:18:53,541 - It's him, this gentleman. - Yes. 170 00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:55,750 May I? Mr. Silvio Filini. 171 00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:02,958 - Are you from Italy? - Aren't we in Italy here? 172 00:19:03,166 --> 00:19:06,541 Yes, we left last night, didn't you know we were coming? 173 00:19:06,791 --> 00:19:10,625 Yes, but with you Italians you can't be sure of anything. To your places! 174 00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:20,208 Excuse me, professor, don't you know where the snow is? 175 00:19:20,416 --> 00:19:23,416 You ask a stupid question. 176 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,625 Snow doesn't wait for the Italians. 177 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:31,541 Instead of snow, smart alternative vacations. 178 00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:34,416 You can do rock climbing if you like it, 179 00:19:34,625 --> 00:19:36,791 or get to know the folklore of South Tyrol 180 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,083 or take a slimming cure in our famous clinic. 181 00:19:40,291 --> 00:19:44,083 You Italian mafia people always eat spaghetti. 182 00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:47,500 - And for skiing... - No skiing! 183 00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:51,458 Don't make a fuss, Italian! Alternative vacations I said! 184 00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:56,291 After a horrible night full of doubts 185 00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:59,208 spent deciding on alternative vacations, 186 00:19:59,416 --> 00:20:04,166 the group divided according to tastes and trends. 187 00:20:04,416 --> 00:20:09,166 Calboni, Colzi and Filini opted for a rock climbing class. 188 00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:17,333 - Where do I attach myself? - Come on! 189 00:20:17,541 --> 00:20:21,500 Calboni was imprudently placed at the head of the line. 190 00:20:21,708 --> 00:20:23,333 Excuse me. 191 00:20:31,458 --> 00:20:37,041 Fantozzi, who promised Pina to lose at least 5 kg by skiing, 192 00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:41,458 decided for the weight loss. He had himself admitted 193 00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:45,791 in the local state-of-the-art clinic to follow the famous diet 194 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,958 of Professor Birkermaier of the University of Hyena. 195 00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:52,083 11! 196 00:20:58,125 --> 00:21:00,250 182! 197 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:04,291 It's very nice here. 198 00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:09,541 It's cheerful, I like it. Did you open a long time ago? 199 00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:12,041 What... 200 00:21:12,583 --> 00:21:14,583 I'm hungry! 201 00:21:17,541 --> 00:21:20,500 One piece of bread! 202 00:21:21,458 --> 00:21:24,000 What is it? Where are you taking me? 203 00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:31,041 Professor Birker. 204 00:21:36,833 --> 00:21:39,791 Welcome to your new home. 205 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,750 - Thank you, Professor Birker. - Birkermaier! 206 00:21:44,416 --> 00:21:47,375 Excuse me, since I have not had breakfast yet, 207 00:21:47,583 --> 00:21:52,583 what does the diet consist of... - Nothing, 20 days of fasting. 208 00:21:52,791 --> 00:21:55,750 No eating, no drinking. 209 00:21:55,958 --> 00:22:00,208 What? No eating? Excuse me, Professor Birkermaier! 210 00:22:00,416 --> 00:22:04,208 Then what is that toilet for? 211 00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:09,083 On the sixth day of treatment, Fantozzi was too tired. 212 00:22:09,291 --> 00:22:13,375 Hey, you, "Mafia, spaghetti", how are you doing? 213 00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:15,583 Good, professor. 214 00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:24,875 When did you stop eating spaghetti? 215 00:22:25,083 --> 00:22:28,000 I can't remember anymore. 216 00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:35,041 - Six days? - Six. 217 00:22:35,250 --> 00:22:38,625 Very good! 218 00:22:38,833 --> 00:22:44,541 To make a good cure, it takes great willpower! 219 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:50,500 - All right, professor. - And who has no willpower... 220 00:23:13,708 --> 00:23:15,125 Watch. 221 00:23:19,208 --> 00:23:21,041 Mercy! 222 00:23:23,583 --> 00:23:26,833 To develop a great will power, 223 00:23:27,041 --> 00:23:31,125 I invite every evening one of your comrades to my dinner. 224 00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:33,833 I eat, he watches. 225 00:23:35,250 --> 00:23:37,416 He watches, I eat. 226 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:40,500 Who touches the food... Kaput! 227 00:23:42,791 --> 00:23:45,291 He didn't resist. 228 00:23:45,541 --> 00:23:50,083 He stole and ate a crumb of bread that was on my tablecloth! 229 00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:53,125 But I did see... I mean... 230 00:23:54,333 --> 00:23:56,791 Do you want to be my guest tonight? 231 00:23:57,041 --> 00:24:00,416 Thanks, but tonight I have a commitment with an aunt of mine. 232 00:24:00,666 --> 00:24:02,458 You write his name. 233 00:24:02,708 --> 00:24:06,750 What name should he write? No, I... 234 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,583 Come in. 235 00:24:08,791 --> 00:24:11,000 - Professor. - Come in. 236 00:24:15,750 --> 00:24:17,500 Sit. 237 00:24:19,916 --> 00:24:21,916 Please, be seated. 238 00:24:28,583 --> 00:24:32,375 - Where are you sitting? - Where you told me. 239 00:24:32,583 --> 00:24:34,500 Here. 240 00:24:34,708 --> 00:24:36,791 You said... 241 00:24:41,041 --> 00:24:43,708 What's good tonight? 242 00:24:43,916 --> 00:24:45,791 What's good? 243 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:51,041 Bavarian meatballs! 244 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:03,041 Made of potatoes, 245 00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:06,375 flour, spices... 246 00:25:11,541 --> 00:25:14,666 Too bad you can't eat them. 247 00:25:14,875 --> 00:25:16,916 Four kinds of meat, ham, 248 00:25:17,125 --> 00:25:19,166 cheese, eggs... 249 00:25:21,416 --> 00:25:24,416 Do you remember your comrade who ate? 250 00:25:27,208 --> 00:25:29,125 A little bit. 251 00:25:33,750 --> 00:25:35,708 It melts in your mouth. 252 00:25:40,708 --> 00:25:42,333 Look. 253 00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:51,708 One bite, one meatball, 254 00:25:51,916 --> 00:25:55,916 a meatball, a glass of vi... 255 00:26:04,750 --> 00:26:06,750 Wine of the Rhi... 256 00:26:11,375 --> 00:26:13,375 Rhine Valley. 257 00:26:51,791 --> 00:26:53,541 Wine of the Va... 258 00:26:54,875 --> 00:26:56,625 Of the Rhine! 259 00:27:00,250 --> 00:27:02,083 Wine... 260 00:27:04,875 --> 00:27:07,125 - Are you eating? - No. 261 00:27:07,333 --> 00:27:10,166 You are eating? Nurses! 262 00:27:10,375 --> 00:27:13,041 Nurses, he is eating! 263 00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:17,375 He is eating everything! He is eating! 264 00:27:20,375 --> 00:27:23,666 Italy-Argentina. It is the rematch of the World Championship. 265 00:27:23,875 --> 00:27:25,875 A Wednesday, one month later, 266 00:27:26,083 --> 00:27:29,375 all devices were tuned to a single channel 267 00:27:29,583 --> 00:27:32,083 for the chronicle of the rematch 268 00:27:32,291 --> 00:27:35,666 between Italy and Argentina. Fantozzi was in the front line. 269 00:27:35,875 --> 00:27:38,833 Armchair, table set in front of the TV, 270 00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:41,208 flannel robe, spaghetti being cooked, 271 00:27:41,458 --> 00:27:44,791 cold beer and burps all night. 272 00:27:46,958 --> 00:27:50,250 Pina, bring them to me al dente! 273 00:27:59,833 --> 00:28:02,166 If Bettega plays well, they're screwed. 274 00:28:02,375 --> 00:28:06,083 Then there are Cabrini, Causio doing tricks, 275 00:28:06,333 --> 00:28:08,916 and then there is Benetti who is a beast. 276 00:28:10,625 --> 00:28:14,750 So many! Alright, from tomorrow I'll go on a diet. 277 00:28:18,708 --> 00:28:20,708 What is that smell? 278 00:28:21,666 --> 00:28:24,333 It's my new perfume, "Temptation". 279 00:28:24,541 --> 00:28:27,333 A new perfume? You've never used perfume in your life. 280 00:28:28,416 --> 00:28:30,750 You have to start with something. 281 00:28:30,958 --> 00:28:33,958 What are you talking about? Are you stupid? 282 00:28:34,166 --> 00:28:35,875 Careful, throw! 283 00:28:36,083 --> 00:28:41,666 You consumed liters of lavender when you had your things... 284 00:28:45,625 --> 00:28:47,500 What did you do with your hair? 285 00:28:49,333 --> 00:28:51,541 For this hairstyle, which is called Slap, 286 00:28:51,750 --> 00:28:54,208 I spent 2 hours at the hairdresser's. 287 00:28:54,416 --> 00:28:58,083 Undo it then, because you don't even look like a human being. Go! 288 00:28:59,166 --> 00:29:01,583 What's he doing? Has he gone mad? 289 00:29:01,833 --> 00:29:03,958 Ugo, I have to tell you something important. 290 00:29:04,166 --> 00:29:07,125 No! Don't tell me who won! 291 00:29:07,333 --> 00:29:11,083 It's not that, it's something more important. 292 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:13,666 - Penalty kick against Italy! - At least for me. 293 00:29:13,875 --> 00:29:18,375 This penalty kick could be the turning point of the match. 294 00:29:18,583 --> 00:29:20,708 - Ugo, please. - Penalty against Italy. 295 00:29:20,916 --> 00:29:24,458 - It's really important. - Penalty against Italy! No! 296 00:29:24,666 --> 00:29:28,083 Ugo, you cannot imagine how important it is. 297 00:29:28,291 --> 00:29:30,166 He takes a run-up... 298 00:29:30,416 --> 00:29:32,916 - Saved! - That's it! 299 00:29:33,916 --> 00:29:36,541 Kempes, he saved it! 300 00:29:37,833 --> 00:29:40,000 And now listen to me. 301 00:29:41,458 --> 00:29:44,125 This is really important, Ugo! 302 00:29:44,333 --> 00:29:47,208 I'll give you a 20 second audience, talk. 303 00:29:50,541 --> 00:29:52,625 I fell in love with another man! 304 00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:55,916 Now you've said it, go, there's the game. 305 00:29:58,083 --> 00:30:02,375 Give me a break. Causio's tunnel! These assholes... 306 00:30:03,583 --> 00:30:07,000 At the 21st minute of the second half, Fantozzi finally realized. 307 00:30:07,208 --> 00:30:10,375 And you tell me like this, for fuck's sake? 308 00:30:13,125 --> 00:30:15,291 That you fell in love with someone else? 309 00:30:16,583 --> 00:30:19,291 Pina, I'm going to kill you! 310 00:30:20,958 --> 00:30:23,708 What are you doing here? Actually, I'll kill you both. 311 00:30:23,916 --> 00:30:26,875 I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill myself... 312 00:30:27,083 --> 00:30:29,708 You know what I do? I'll kill myself. 313 00:30:29,916 --> 00:30:35,625 So I want to see how you will provide for yourselves... 314 00:30:38,958 --> 00:30:43,791 Pina, call an ambulance. 315 00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:47,083 I stabbed myself with a fork. 316 00:30:47,291 --> 00:30:52,666 No, Ugo, it is useless to make up things to impress me, 317 00:30:52,875 --> 00:30:54,916 I love him anyway. 318 00:30:56,208 --> 00:31:00,333 And I think our story is now over. 319 00:31:03,833 --> 00:31:06,625 Careful, I've already separated the beds! 320 00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:19,416 Fantozzi argued with his wife all night long. 321 00:31:19,625 --> 00:31:24,000 At the end, he decided to stay calm and be civil. 322 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,000 Eventually, everyone will know and they'll make fun of me. 323 00:31:28,208 --> 00:31:30,625 I'll have to change neighborhoods, cities, friends. 324 00:31:36,416 --> 00:31:39,833 - Cuckold! - Sorry, how do you know that? 325 00:31:40,083 --> 00:31:42,041 I just do. 326 00:31:54,291 --> 00:31:57,333 - Good morning, Fantozzi. - Good morning. 327 00:31:57,541 --> 00:31:59,875 - How are you? - Very well. 328 00:32:00,083 --> 00:32:02,208 Let's hope the day won't betray us! 329 00:32:02,458 --> 00:32:05,583 If you feel like mocking, it's not the day. 330 00:32:05,833 --> 00:32:08,666 What's wrong with you? What's going on? 331 00:32:11,666 --> 00:32:13,791 Sweetcheeks, let's get something to eat. 332 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,000 - Let's have a cheat meal! - No! 333 00:32:16,833 --> 00:32:18,666 The pin! 334 00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:26,666 I'm not buying you anything, go eat your cheat meal! 335 00:32:26,916 --> 00:32:29,583 - What's wrong with him? - He's nervous, let's go. 336 00:32:29,791 --> 00:32:31,416 Indeed. 337 00:32:49,208 --> 00:32:53,083 Hello, Pina? The thing is already known around the city 338 00:32:53,291 --> 00:32:55,250 and everyone here already knows. 339 00:32:55,458 --> 00:32:57,500 Tell me who it is. 340 00:32:57,708 --> 00:33:00,875 Pina, don't piss me off. I want to know who your lover is. 341 00:33:02,083 --> 00:33:06,500 Pina, I'm going to quit my job and I'll show you.... 342 00:33:06,708 --> 00:33:08,875 Hello, Pina! 343 00:33:09,083 --> 00:33:10,791 What the.. 344 00:33:12,791 --> 00:33:16,041 Fantozzi decided to find out by himself. 345 00:33:17,166 --> 00:33:19,166 Ugo, I am going. 346 00:33:21,250 --> 00:33:22,916 Are you coming back? 347 00:33:24,625 --> 00:33:27,416 - I'm just going grocery shopping. - Okay. 348 00:33:33,541 --> 00:33:37,125 He took a day off, waited for Pina to go out 349 00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:40,875 and started searching the house looking for a small clue, 350 00:33:41,083 --> 00:33:43,541 a letter, a photograph. 351 00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:08,125 At this point, he had a little suspect. 352 00:35:08,375 --> 00:35:11,458 BAKERY 353 00:35:43,458 --> 00:35:46,708 - Take that, blondie! - And give me a pound of sugar. 354 00:35:46,916 --> 00:35:50,375 Sure, you know who you remind me of? Donatella Rettore, 355 00:35:50,625 --> 00:35:53,791 the singer of "Splendido splendente". 356 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,916 Morning! Did you do your hair double face? 357 00:35:59,416 --> 00:36:03,291 Beautiful lady, what can I give you? Do you want a little bit, 358 00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:06,375 or do you want the whole thing? 359 00:36:07,208 --> 00:36:11,083 It's over ten pounds, should I put it inside? 360 00:36:13,333 --> 00:36:15,958 If you come back in the afternoon, 361 00:36:16,208 --> 00:36:20,666 I'll make you a special bread roll. Bread for your teeth. 362 00:36:20,916 --> 00:36:25,833 I'll come back in the afternoon. Is 5:00 fine? 363 00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:30,583 For you, the special baguette is always there. 364 00:36:31,291 --> 00:36:34,916 I am diabolical in intercourse, 365 00:36:35,125 --> 00:36:39,083 disproportionate in terms of the dimensions of sex 366 00:36:39,291 --> 00:36:41,833 and if I find the right woman... 367 00:36:42,041 --> 00:36:46,125 It was Cecco, the nephew of the baker. 368 00:36:46,333 --> 00:36:48,791 He was a hideous 26-year-old with acne, 369 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:54,166 with a very low ass and terrible breath, like a Calcutta sewer. 370 00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:01,541 Dad, you don't watch TV anymore? 371 00:37:01,750 --> 00:37:04,666 - I'm tired of life by now. - What are you doing? Do you smoke? 372 00:37:04,875 --> 00:37:06,875 Yes, and I also drink. 373 00:37:09,833 --> 00:37:12,375 - What is it? - A tooth. 374 00:37:12,583 --> 00:37:17,583 - Where is Mommy? - Mommy must have gone out to buy.... 375 00:37:19,208 --> 00:37:20,916 Some bread. 376 00:37:22,291 --> 00:37:25,833 Honey, sit next to your father. 377 00:37:27,916 --> 00:37:31,333 Honey, by now you're a big... 378 00:37:33,791 --> 00:37:35,750 You are a big girl. 379 00:37:35,958 --> 00:37:40,750 If mommy, who is as good as bread, should leave us, 380 00:37:40,958 --> 00:37:43,833 what will become of us? - Don't worry, daddy. 381 00:37:44,041 --> 00:37:46,208 We'll be together all our lives, 382 00:37:46,416 --> 00:37:49,583 just you and me. 383 00:37:53,083 --> 00:37:55,875 When the pain became unbearable, 384 00:37:56,083 --> 00:37:58,833 he decided to end it all. 385 00:39:53,041 --> 00:39:55,916 Oh God, he'll kill him. Oh my God! 386 00:40:10,083 --> 00:40:13,583 Can I talk to you man to man? 387 00:40:13,791 --> 00:40:15,916 You must... 388 00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:18,583 You must explain... 389 00:40:18,791 --> 00:40:20,083 Here. 390 00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:30,083 - You must explain... - Uncle takes care of the tabs. 391 00:40:31,125 --> 00:40:33,333 All right. 392 00:40:36,083 --> 00:40:39,208 - Excuse me... - Who are you? 393 00:40:39,416 --> 00:40:42,208 I am Mr. Fantozzi, 394 00:40:42,416 --> 00:40:45,416 husband of Mrs. Pina Fantozzi. 395 00:40:46,708 --> 00:40:50,083 He's the one of the 700,000 liras debt. 396 00:40:50,291 --> 00:40:52,666 What are you doing with all that bread? 397 00:40:52,916 --> 00:40:56,416 Ask your nephew. 398 00:40:56,666 --> 00:41:00,916 You are chasing after my lady. 399 00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:03,666 - Which lady? - My wife. 400 00:41:03,875 --> 00:41:05,916 - Your wife? - Yes. 401 00:41:06,166 --> 00:41:08,791 You're the monster collector! 402 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,166 The one with the small monster and the bigger one. 403 00:41:12,416 --> 00:41:16,750 You must be satisfied of having completed such a collection. 404 00:41:16,958 --> 00:41:20,291 Bravo! Everyone here is talking about you. 405 00:41:20,500 --> 00:41:24,458 When you enter the courtyard, everybody say: "Fantozzi! Fantozzi!" 406 00:41:25,291 --> 00:41:30,625 We thought that the lady worked at the circus. 407 00:41:30,875 --> 00:41:34,333 The only thing you can do is a trip to Lourdes. 408 00:41:34,583 --> 00:41:37,000 All three! Take a bath in the pool 409 00:41:37,208 --> 00:41:41,750 and wait for the miracle. - But... then... 410 00:41:41,958 --> 00:41:44,125 - You won't take her away from me. - Away? 411 00:41:44,375 --> 00:41:48,833 The garbage men could take her away if you leave her in the trash. 412 00:41:49,041 --> 00:41:52,500 It's the only chance because with you fate has been really mean. 413 00:41:52,708 --> 00:41:55,041 Thank you. 414 00:41:55,750 --> 00:41:59,166 So, you are a witness. 415 00:41:59,375 --> 00:42:02,125 We agree, he's not taking her away. 416 00:42:02,333 --> 00:42:04,333 - What the fuck are you saying? - What? 417 00:42:04,583 --> 00:42:07,708 They don't understand who she is, they don't know her. 418 00:42:07,916 --> 00:42:11,333 Do you have a picture? Get a picture of the monster, take it out. 419 00:42:11,541 --> 00:42:13,375 - Of my wife? - Yes. 420 00:42:13,625 --> 00:42:16,291 Give these people a good laugh. 421 00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:19,541 They never have any fun, always closed in their shell. 422 00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:22,083 Show the picture of the monster, come on! 423 00:42:22,291 --> 00:42:25,791 Here, we took this one in Riccione. 424 00:42:26,041 --> 00:42:28,458 Look! Do you know what this is? 425 00:42:28,666 --> 00:42:32,750 The synthesis of disgrace, the apotheosis of crap. 426 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:37,375 Watch and laugh a little you too who never laugh. 427 00:42:37,583 --> 00:42:40,083 Come on, here. 428 00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:43,916 - Give me the picture. - Show it to him. 429 00:42:44,125 --> 00:42:46,958 Come on, show her. 430 00:42:47,166 --> 00:42:50,791 - It's a piece of crap. - Give me the picture. 431 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,750 He took it back. 432 00:42:52,958 --> 00:42:55,416 Since your wife likes baguettes, 433 00:42:55,625 --> 00:42:58,291 take her this too. 434 00:43:02,458 --> 00:43:06,750 You understand absolutely nothing about women! 435 00:43:06,958 --> 00:43:09,333 She is beautiful 436 00:43:09,541 --> 00:43:14,125 and I will never buy bread from you again. 437 00:43:14,375 --> 00:43:16,416 - Fantozzi? - Yes? 438 00:43:17,625 --> 00:43:19,250 Thank you. 439 00:43:26,500 --> 00:43:30,166 I talked to that young man. 440 00:43:30,375 --> 00:43:33,375 I had a very civil interview. 441 00:43:33,583 --> 00:43:36,416 We had an exchange of views 442 00:43:36,625 --> 00:43:40,041 and he was very understanding. 443 00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:45,041 Poor guy! He fell in love like a beast. 444 00:43:45,250 --> 00:43:47,083 He's crazy about you. 445 00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:51,250 He finds you a beautiful woman. Very sexy! 446 00:43:51,458 --> 00:43:56,458 You were very liked by all of his friends. 447 00:43:56,666 --> 00:44:00,166 They think you're amazing. 448 00:44:01,708 --> 00:44:04,166 Now he's... 449 00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:09,875 He would also be willing to give up 450 00:44:10,083 --> 00:44:13,666 because he doesn't want to ruin a family. 451 00:44:13,875 --> 00:44:16,625 However, as you well understand, 452 00:44:16,833 --> 00:44:20,125 the last decision is yours. 453 00:44:21,833 --> 00:44:23,833 What will you do? 454 00:44:29,541 --> 00:44:31,875 I've already decided, Ugo. 455 00:44:32,083 --> 00:44:33,958 I'm staying with you... 456 00:44:35,500 --> 00:44:38,333 Because I hold you in the highest esteem. 457 00:44:38,541 --> 00:44:41,250 But not love? 458 00:44:47,166 --> 00:44:49,375 Help me bring the beds together. 459 00:44:49,583 --> 00:44:53,375 - The big sheet is in the closet. - Ah, here. 460 00:44:53,583 --> 00:44:58,583 Pina, I'm glad because I understand that everything is really over. 461 00:45:03,416 --> 00:45:07,125 It seemed like a normal morning. 462 00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:14,291 Until the austere and irreproachable secretary 463 00:45:14,500 --> 00:45:16,500 of the hereditary director, 464 00:45:16,708 --> 00:45:20,291 came out of his office with sad news. 465 00:45:20,500 --> 00:45:23,916 They called, it's confirmed! 466 00:45:25,458 --> 00:45:29,250 The hereditary director has rubella! 467 00:45:29,458 --> 00:45:32,416 The hereditary director was 106 years old. 468 00:45:32,625 --> 00:45:35,958 That childhood disease could also be fatal to him. 469 00:45:36,166 --> 00:45:40,875 The employees greeted the news with composed sorrow. 470 00:45:51,458 --> 00:45:56,958 Fantozzi thought that this chance should be helped by any means. 471 00:45:57,166 --> 00:46:00,625 Good morning, Mr. Priest. 472 00:46:00,833 --> 00:46:02,833 Sit down, son. 473 00:46:04,541 --> 00:46:07,041 I would like to have a mass said. 474 00:46:07,250 --> 00:46:09,541 For or against someone? 475 00:46:11,041 --> 00:46:13,916 - Against. - It's three times as much, 30,000. 476 00:46:14,125 --> 00:46:16,291 Sung, 50,000. 477 00:46:16,500 --> 00:46:18,333 Sung. 478 00:46:18,541 --> 00:46:20,666 You hate him a lot, son. 479 00:46:24,625 --> 00:46:29,625 After Fantozzi's initiative, other collective initiatives followed... 480 00:46:29,875 --> 00:46:33,708 Giant rosaries in the lunchroom. 481 00:46:42,125 --> 00:46:44,125 Their prayers were answered. 482 00:46:47,250 --> 00:46:52,000 Fantozzi went to the funeral in total mourning. 483 00:47:02,375 --> 00:47:04,375 Madam, did you see... 484 00:47:12,458 --> 00:47:15,291 I understand, but let go of me. 485 00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,500 Let go of my arm. 486 00:47:51,458 --> 00:47:53,166 Who carries the coffin? 487 00:47:53,416 --> 00:47:56,125 - Me. - I'll carry it too. 488 00:48:15,083 --> 00:48:18,708 Accountant, I don't understand, did he have a husband? 489 00:48:18,916 --> 00:48:20,541 - Who? - The count. 490 00:48:20,750 --> 00:48:23,125 - I don't know, ask. - Yes. 491 00:48:23,333 --> 00:48:27,208 Excuse me, this is the funeral of Count Vignardelli Bava? 492 00:48:27,416 --> 00:48:29,750 No, widow Ricci. 493 00:48:30,666 --> 00:48:32,958 Accountant, we are at the wrong funeral. 494 00:48:33,166 --> 00:48:35,875 - Why? - This is the widow Ricci. 495 00:48:38,791 --> 00:48:42,166 - But is it the widow Ricci? - No, Lieutenant Gambardella. 496 00:48:42,375 --> 00:48:45,125 Lieutenant Gambardella? 497 00:48:56,666 --> 00:48:58,333 Here! 498 00:49:00,583 --> 00:49:03,666 - Excuse me, ma'am... - No, Filini! 499 00:49:03,875 --> 00:49:07,250 - Be careful! - Let go of me, lady! 500 00:49:07,458 --> 00:49:09,625 Let me go, what are you doing? 501 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,541 Hey, where are you? 502 00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:23,541 Where are you? 503 00:49:25,666 --> 00:49:27,708 - Here I am! - Let's go away! 504 00:49:27,916 --> 00:49:30,041 - I'm coming. - Watch out! 505 00:49:32,041 --> 00:49:35,291 Fantozzi and Filini, in a monstrous delay, 506 00:49:35,500 --> 00:49:38,666 finally went to the right funeral. 507 00:49:38,916 --> 00:49:41,958 And in front of this memorial stone of pure gold, 508 00:49:42,166 --> 00:49:45,083 forged with the fusion of wedding rings 509 00:49:45,291 --> 00:49:49,708 spontaneously donated by you faithful employees, 510 00:49:49,916 --> 00:49:54,083 here, according to the will of the illustrious departed... 511 00:49:55,958 --> 00:49:58,958 I announce the name of his successor. 512 00:49:59,166 --> 00:50:03,500 Your new total director will be... 513 00:50:05,041 --> 00:50:06,333 He will be... 514 00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,416 Will be... 515 00:50:11,416 --> 00:50:16,333 Great Rascal of Great Cross 516 00:50:16,541 --> 00:50:19,541 Viscount Cobram. 517 00:50:27,791 --> 00:50:32,625 For everyone, Viscount Cobram was the most feared name. 518 00:50:32,833 --> 00:50:37,083 As a young man, he had been a mediocre amateur cyclist 519 00:50:37,291 --> 00:50:40,541 who entered at 18 years old into the ranks of the company, 520 00:50:40,750 --> 00:50:44,083 and made his way being an ass-kisser and a spy for those in power. 521 00:50:44,291 --> 00:50:46,791 And now, having also reached the power, 522 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:51,875 he wanted cycling to be practiced by all his employees. 523 00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:55,583 Cycling is a healthy sport and within everyone's reach. 524 00:50:55,833 --> 00:50:57,916 It's against old age and disease. 525 00:50:58,166 --> 00:51:03,333 But above all it gives great lucidity and efficiency at work. 526 00:51:05,458 --> 00:51:07,708 - What about tennis? - It sucks. 527 00:51:07,916 --> 00:51:11,583 - It is stuff for girls. - For fags! 528 00:51:12,416 --> 00:51:15,375 - What about soccer? - Well, soccer... 529 00:51:15,625 --> 00:51:19,416 - What? - Well... Gross! 530 00:51:19,625 --> 00:51:22,500 - Sickening. - Yes. 531 00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:27,041 Good! 532 00:51:27,750 --> 00:51:31,916 I also want to tell you that I feel sorry and disgusted 533 00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:36,083 for those employees who come to the office by car 534 00:51:36,291 --> 00:51:41,125 and who in the evening run to lock themselves up in those sardine cans 535 00:51:41,333 --> 00:51:44,916 instead of taking a nice walk out of town. 536 00:51:46,166 --> 00:51:47,416 - You! - Me? 537 00:51:47,666 --> 00:51:50,458 No, you, back there. 538 00:51:50,666 --> 00:51:53,625 Me? Didn't you want to talk to... 539 00:51:55,125 --> 00:51:56,916 Me, all right. 540 00:51:57,833 --> 00:52:01,000 At the Milan-Sanremo of 1931, 541 00:52:01,208 --> 00:52:06,041 Piemontesi came third, second was Guerra... And first? 542 00:52:06,291 --> 00:52:08,583 First? First, Carnera. 543 00:52:10,916 --> 00:52:13,208 What is tagging? 544 00:52:14,875 --> 00:52:17,375 It is... Tagging. 545 00:52:17,583 --> 00:52:22,208 It's called tagging, when... 546 00:52:22,875 --> 00:52:25,541 I don't remember that anymore. 547 00:52:25,750 --> 00:52:28,083 You don't remember anymore. 548 00:52:31,666 --> 00:52:33,666 It seems to me... 549 00:52:33,875 --> 00:52:38,416 Perhaps one could speculate that tagging is a bad action. 550 00:52:38,625 --> 00:52:42,500 Sometimes you say: "She gave him a great tagging." 551 00:52:42,708 --> 00:52:46,208 Ah, yes! When a swarm of bees.... 552 00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:49,708 No, it's a regional dish of Abruzzo. 553 00:52:49,958 --> 00:52:53,583 A regional dish of Abruzzo! 554 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:02,625 Who will answer me... 555 00:53:04,166 --> 00:53:06,208 Who will answer me... 556 00:53:06,416 --> 00:53:08,166 Don't move! 557 00:53:09,416 --> 00:53:13,333 Tagging is the assignment of the race numbers. 558 00:53:13,583 --> 00:53:16,208 Things are going to change here. 559 00:53:16,458 --> 00:53:20,791 You have no idea of what awaits you, you damned wimps! 560 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:22,291 Out! 561 00:53:22,541 --> 00:53:26,833 They actually had an idea of what was waiting for them. 562 00:53:27,041 --> 00:53:31,083 Either they'd become cyclists or they were screwed. 563 00:53:43,208 --> 00:53:45,750 Let's go! Let's go! 564 00:53:45,958 --> 00:53:47,541 Stop. 565 00:53:54,958 --> 00:53:56,708 - Ready? - Yes. 566 00:53:56,916 --> 00:53:59,791 Between our Martano and the Spanish Trueba, 567 00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:03,041 it was a great duel in August of '34. 568 00:54:03,250 --> 00:54:07,416 - No, it was June. - Of course, sorry, I made a mistake. 569 00:54:07,625 --> 00:54:10,375 June, Trueba! 570 00:54:10,583 --> 00:54:12,708 Nicknamed the Flea of the Pyrenees. 571 00:54:12,916 --> 00:54:16,250 Where are we going tonight for the usual ride? 572 00:54:16,458 --> 00:54:19,416 - Where are we going? - Let's go around the lakes. 573 00:54:19,625 --> 00:54:23,000 No, let's go around the seven hills. 574 00:54:23,208 --> 00:54:27,000 No, let's go for dinner at my aunt's place in Pinerolo 575 00:54:27,208 --> 00:54:29,208 and come back in the night. 576 00:54:29,416 --> 00:54:31,416 They are 1,200 Km. 577 00:54:31,625 --> 00:54:34,916 And what are 1,200 Km? 578 00:54:35,125 --> 00:54:37,583 - What are they? - Nothing. 579 00:54:37,791 --> 00:54:40,625 So, gentlemen, everyone to Pinerolo! 580 00:54:40,833 --> 00:54:42,875 To Pinerolo! 581 00:54:46,625 --> 00:54:50,291 To Pinerolo! Accountant, where did you put your car? 582 00:54:50,500 --> 00:54:54,208 - Around the corner, next to yours. - Then let's go on this trip. 583 00:54:54,416 --> 00:54:55,875 - To Pinerolo! - To Pinerolo. 584 00:54:56,083 --> 00:54:57,750 To Pinerolo! 585 00:55:08,166 --> 00:55:10,916 To Pinerolo. 586 00:55:11,125 --> 00:55:13,208 He believed it. 587 00:55:16,083 --> 00:55:20,625 - Here's the trip! - Yes, let's go! 588 00:55:20,875 --> 00:55:22,041 A ride? 589 00:55:25,333 --> 00:55:27,625 - Let's go home. - No one move! 590 00:55:49,250 --> 00:55:50,958 Let's go step by step. 591 00:55:51,166 --> 00:55:54,375 As a first ride, 20 Km will be enough. 592 00:55:54,583 --> 00:55:56,333 What? 593 00:55:56,583 --> 00:55:58,125 In the saddle! 594 00:55:58,375 --> 00:56:01,083 In the saddle, bersagliera style! 595 00:56:10,208 --> 00:56:13,458 My God! One moment! 596 00:56:14,791 --> 00:56:17,875 Mr. Dog! No, engineer! 597 00:56:36,666 --> 00:56:39,916 The devil is not as ugly as he is painted. 598 00:56:40,125 --> 00:56:43,666 Yeah, I've knocked down 20 Km very easily. 599 00:56:43,875 --> 00:56:46,125 I feel like all my muscles are loose.... 600 00:56:55,291 --> 00:56:56,958 Goodbye. 601 00:57:19,916 --> 00:57:22,666 Three hours later, also Fantozzi 602 00:57:22,875 --> 00:57:26,958 had some slight difficulty of movement. 603 00:57:33,916 --> 00:57:37,791 Pina, help me! I can't reach the handle. 604 00:57:42,791 --> 00:57:44,791 Something is wrong 605 00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,666 in my joints. 606 00:57:50,250 --> 00:57:52,791 The next day, in the lunchroom, 607 00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:57,458 entered a platoon of amputees from all wars. 608 00:57:57,750 --> 00:58:02,666 They were the tragic participants of the training. 609 00:58:13,791 --> 00:58:16,041 - Can I have some meat? - The cutlery. 610 00:58:16,250 --> 00:58:20,166 - There isn't any meat? - I don't know, take the potatoes. 611 00:58:20,375 --> 00:58:22,458 But I wanted meat. 612 00:58:26,875 --> 00:58:28,291 Wine! 613 00:58:28,541 --> 00:58:30,541 - Wine? - Yes, wine. 614 00:58:35,208 --> 00:58:36,791 Wine. 615 00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:38,625 Here. 616 00:58:42,625 --> 00:58:44,333 Thank you. 617 00:58:44,541 --> 00:58:48,166 - I would like some fruit. - No, you already have potatoes. 618 00:58:48,375 --> 00:58:51,833 - At least some bread. - All right, here's the bread. 619 00:58:57,666 --> 00:58:59,708 Attention! 620 00:59:01,333 --> 00:59:04,125 I have some great news for you. 621 00:59:04,333 --> 00:59:07,708 In 15 days, Sunday, July 28, 622 00:59:07,916 --> 00:59:11,416 there will be the first Cobram Cup 623 00:59:11,625 --> 00:59:15,166 for all the employees of our company. 624 00:59:15,375 --> 00:59:18,625 A 40 Km race! 625 00:59:21,208 --> 00:59:23,250 50? 626 00:59:23,458 --> 00:59:25,083 50! 627 00:59:26,291 --> 00:59:28,708 - Is something wrong? - No, everything is fine. 628 00:59:28,916 --> 00:59:31,583 - In fact, it's little. - 55? 629 00:59:31,791 --> 00:59:33,916 - 60. - 70! 630 00:59:34,208 --> 00:59:36,791 Sign up everyone! 631 00:59:39,041 --> 00:59:42,041 I recommend you keep training! 632 00:59:42,833 --> 00:59:45,208 The evening before the fatal day, 633 00:59:45,416 --> 00:59:50,416 Fantozzi and Filini made a miserable, desperate attempt. 634 00:59:50,625 --> 00:59:53,541 - Are you ready? - No, I don't want to do it. 635 00:59:53,750 --> 00:59:55,583 - Do you want to do the Cup? - No! 636 00:59:55,833 --> 00:59:59,208 It is very easy, I have prepared the text for you. 637 00:59:59,416 --> 01:00:04,125 You just have to read. I'll show you what to do afterwards. 638 01:00:07,958 --> 01:00:09,958 "Hello? Viscount Cobram?" 639 01:00:10,208 --> 01:00:12,083 - Disguise your voice. - Yes. 640 01:00:12,291 --> 01:00:14,583 "This is the distinguished doctor Bergman-Valadier." 641 01:00:14,833 --> 01:00:16,416 - Which would be me. - Yes. 642 01:00:16,625 --> 01:00:20,916 "I visited your employees Filini and Fantozzi, 643 01:00:21,125 --> 01:00:23,916 and found in both of them the Ménière syndrome 644 01:00:24,125 --> 01:00:26,958 and therefore I don't recommend, actually I forbid, 645 01:00:27,166 --> 01:00:30,083 that they participate in your beautiful sport initiative 646 01:00:30,291 --> 01:00:32,875 or I decline all responsibility." 647 01:00:33,083 --> 01:00:35,166 Thank you and good evening. 648 01:00:35,375 --> 01:00:38,375 - Easy as pie. - You didn't dial the number. 649 01:00:38,583 --> 01:00:40,708 - Do you want to do race? - No! 650 01:00:40,958 --> 01:00:43,250 So come on, let's disguise the voice. 651 01:00:43,458 --> 01:00:46,916 Clothespin! Clothespin... 652 01:00:47,125 --> 01:00:49,125 Potato... 653 01:00:49,375 --> 01:00:51,625 Open your mouth. Funnel. 654 01:00:51,833 --> 01:00:54,208 Funnel. Hold it. 655 01:00:54,416 --> 01:00:58,375 Towel. A towel... 656 01:00:58,583 --> 01:01:00,500 And now... 657 01:01:00,708 --> 01:01:02,916 Squeeze. 658 01:01:03,125 --> 01:01:04,541 Can you breathe? 659 01:01:05,416 --> 01:01:08,416 This is the copper basin, this is the text... 660 01:01:09,541 --> 01:01:11,833 - I don't understand. - Should I do a Swedish accent? 661 01:01:12,041 --> 01:01:14,625 Can you do it? All right, do it. 662 01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:16,875 I'll dial the number. 663 01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:21,041 3, 4, 664 01:01:21,250 --> 01:01:26,458 7, 8, 1. 665 01:01:27,541 --> 01:01:30,166 - In the basin! Swedish! - Hello? 666 01:01:30,375 --> 01:01:32,208 Fantozzi, is that you? 667 01:01:36,125 --> 01:01:37,958 Are you happy? 668 01:01:38,166 --> 01:01:41,583 You ruined it all. A Swedish accent! 669 01:01:46,958 --> 01:01:50,208 - I don't get it. - It makes me want to throw up. 670 01:01:50,458 --> 01:01:54,708 - Of course! - I'd like to give one last kiss... 671 01:01:54,958 --> 01:01:57,666 To the baboon... To the monkey. 672 01:01:57,875 --> 01:02:00,375 - To Albertina... What is her name? - Mariangela. 673 01:02:00,583 --> 01:02:02,583 - Go. - Thank you. 674 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:19,083 There's my angel. 675 01:02:23,250 --> 01:02:25,583 Goodbye, sweetheart. 676 01:02:41,375 --> 01:02:43,083 Bravo! 677 01:02:45,166 --> 01:02:46,916 Bravo! 678 01:02:50,416 --> 01:02:53,041 Bomb? I got the bomb, the good one. 679 01:02:53,250 --> 01:02:55,333 I have the bomb, the strong one. 680 01:02:55,541 --> 01:02:57,708 Do you want it? Bomb! 681 01:02:57,916 --> 01:03:00,833 - Look how beautiful it is. - What's inside? 682 01:03:01,041 --> 01:03:04,625 Methadrine, sympamine, aspirin, franceschina, cocaine 683 01:03:04,833 --> 01:03:08,458 and cayenne pepper. You want it? It's 100,000. 684 01:03:08,666 --> 01:03:11,083 - I'll take it. - All right. 685 01:03:11,291 --> 01:03:14,791 With this, you'll come in first and it also will get you excited. 686 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,000 Bomb? Who wants the bomb? 687 01:03:25,375 --> 01:03:27,375 - Bravo! - Bravo. 688 01:03:27,916 --> 01:03:29,750 Get ready! 689 01:03:29,958 --> 01:03:31,958 My compliments, Mr. Duke Count. 690 01:03:35,541 --> 01:03:37,541 Bikers, saddle up! 691 01:03:43,583 --> 01:03:47,250 - The ambulance! Did you see it? - Sure, just in case. 692 01:03:49,500 --> 01:03:51,708 Sweetcheeks! 693 01:03:51,916 --> 01:03:55,791 - You are racing too! - Calboni, are you hurt? 694 01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:58,208 I am not an asshole like you. 695 01:03:58,416 --> 01:04:01,416 I got multiple fractures. 696 01:04:01,666 --> 01:04:04,291 That's how they put me on the supply line. 697 01:04:06,916 --> 01:04:09,708 - Why that? - You can never tell. 698 01:04:09,916 --> 01:04:13,083 But you don't worry, just in case, I'll tell your wife. 699 01:04:13,291 --> 01:04:15,666 - If it could be avoided... - Attention! 700 01:04:16,625 --> 01:04:18,708 10 seconds to go. 701 01:04:28,541 --> 01:04:30,916 Our Father, who art in heaven.... 702 01:04:35,041 --> 01:04:36,708 Watch out! 703 01:04:40,750 --> 01:04:43,875 Get up, you morons! Get up! 704 01:04:45,958 --> 01:04:47,875 Get them up! 705 01:04:49,208 --> 01:04:51,333 Get on top of them! 706 01:04:55,750 --> 01:04:58,458 See? You are getting back up! Bravo! 707 01:04:58,708 --> 01:05:01,041 Come on, let's go! 708 01:05:15,041 --> 01:05:17,708 On the little slope of Viale De Amicis, 709 01:05:17,916 --> 01:05:21,166 after that tragically named "Devil's Peak", 710 01:05:21,416 --> 01:05:24,916 they encountered the inevitable and terrifying storm, 711 01:05:25,125 --> 01:05:28,208 theater of every Mountain Grand Prix. 712 01:05:30,916 --> 01:05:35,625 At the epicenter, 50 degrees below zero! 713 01:05:51,666 --> 01:05:55,166 Mr. Belli, who looked strangely like sea bream, 714 01:05:55,375 --> 01:06:00,625 was lost in the fog. He was sold in slices in a local supermarket. 715 01:06:02,083 --> 01:06:03,916 And four! 716 01:06:15,083 --> 01:06:17,083 Accountant, are you speeding up? 717 01:06:17,291 --> 01:06:19,541 No, broken brakes! 718 01:06:20,500 --> 01:06:22,041 Help! 719 01:06:46,958 --> 01:06:49,125 What's up? Congratulations! 720 01:06:49,333 --> 01:06:52,125 Where is the groom? Never mind, let's sing. 721 01:06:52,333 --> 01:06:55,583 What do we care if it goes wrong! 722 01:07:11,541 --> 01:07:14,333 - Here's daddy, See? He's still alive. - Come on! 723 01:07:14,583 --> 01:07:16,583 At the second attack on the Devil's Hill, 724 01:07:16,791 --> 01:07:19,625 they had the first imperceptible symptoms of fatigue. 725 01:07:20,333 --> 01:07:22,166 Asphyxia. 726 01:07:23,250 --> 01:07:25,125 Targeted eyes. 727 01:07:28,625 --> 01:07:30,625 Cardiac arrests. 728 01:07:32,083 --> 01:07:34,083 Plush tongues. 729 01:07:36,333 --> 01:07:39,333 Northern lights and mirages. 730 01:07:39,583 --> 01:07:44,750 Now dehydrated, Fantozzi thought he was victim of an hallucination. 731 01:08:19,208 --> 01:08:20,833 But... 732 01:08:21,916 --> 01:08:23,750 Holy crap! 733 01:08:42,583 --> 01:08:44,125 Here. 734 01:08:44,333 --> 01:08:46,625 Do you want to get in? 735 01:08:46,833 --> 01:08:49,291 No, later. 736 01:08:50,291 --> 01:08:52,000 Bye. 737 01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:00,750 On the second pass through the storm, 738 01:09:00,958 --> 01:09:03,208 a fan moved to compassion. 739 01:09:18,541 --> 01:09:21,000 Oh God! I can't see anymore! 740 01:09:21,250 --> 01:09:23,791 Stop, damn you! 741 01:09:33,833 --> 01:09:37,416 May I introduce Mr. Vannini? 742 01:09:37,625 --> 01:09:39,625 - That's me. - You sing too. 743 01:09:39,833 --> 01:09:44,833 Who knows! Now let's see tomorrow, who knows! 744 01:09:45,083 --> 01:09:49,666 A few survivors reached the longed-for supplies. 745 01:09:49,875 --> 01:09:52,375 - Come closer! - Here! 746 01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:58,375 On the fly, Pina! Pull! 747 01:10:03,333 --> 01:10:05,000 - To me! - To me! 748 01:10:15,750 --> 01:10:19,333 The Cobram Cup had now become an elimination race. 749 01:10:19,541 --> 01:10:23,041 There were only two of them left aiming for the final victory 750 01:10:23,291 --> 01:10:27,083 by any means necessary, even the most unfair. 751 01:11:12,500 --> 01:11:15,291 Go more slowly, for pity's sake. 752 01:11:15,541 --> 01:11:16,833 Mr. Fantozzi! 753 01:11:18,958 --> 01:11:20,291 Oh my! 754 01:11:27,833 --> 01:11:30,958 May I? That's Mr. Colzi. Let's sing! 755 01:11:31,166 --> 01:11:34,833 What do we care if it goes wrong! 756 01:11:37,250 --> 01:11:40,500 - It's Fantozzi! - Good job! 757 01:11:54,166 --> 01:11:57,666 At the end of July, 11 a.m, 758 01:11:57,916 --> 01:12:02,375 Fantozzi had been mysteriously summoned with his colleague Filini 759 01:12:02,583 --> 01:12:06,875 by the magistral director Duke Count Piermatteo Barambani. 760 01:12:07,083 --> 01:12:10,750 For the occasion, he had worn a new suit 761 01:12:10,958 --> 01:12:14,291 and had decided to have an invigorating coffee. 762 01:12:15,500 --> 01:12:17,500 - For fuck's sake! - Easy! 763 01:12:17,708 --> 01:12:20,916 - It always screws me over. - Take it easy, Fantozzi. 764 01:12:21,125 --> 01:12:25,500 Just push here and there you go. 765 01:12:25,708 --> 01:12:29,625 Your coffee. See? 766 01:12:31,416 --> 01:12:34,208 Be careful with that coffee, I have a new suit. 767 01:12:34,416 --> 01:12:36,250 May I? 768 01:12:36,458 --> 01:12:38,791 - I have a new suit... - It's new! 769 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:42,416 Yes, I have to go to Barambani and he wants everything... 770 01:12:43,750 --> 01:12:46,916 It's empty! You were scared, weren't you, Sweetcheeks? 771 01:12:47,125 --> 01:12:50,000 What a joke! I'm going to drink my coffee there. 772 01:12:50,208 --> 01:12:52,416 Yes, jerks, laugh. 773 01:12:52,625 --> 01:12:58,125 I have to go to Barambani. If he sees you with a speck.... 774 01:12:58,333 --> 01:13:00,541 - Is Fantozzi here? - He was here. 775 01:13:04,583 --> 01:13:07,958 - Is Fantozzi here? - He was there. 776 01:13:08,166 --> 01:13:10,708 - When they look for him, he is gone. - Calboni! 777 01:13:10,916 --> 01:13:13,958 Sweetcheeks, what are you doing? They were looking for you. 778 01:13:14,500 --> 01:13:18,291 I said, "I'm going to the corner to drink a coffee..." 779 01:13:18,500 --> 01:13:20,500 - Have you seen him? - No, have you? 780 01:13:22,875 --> 01:13:25,958 Drinking coffee... 781 01:13:40,541 --> 01:13:42,625 Fantozzi, at last! 782 01:13:42,833 --> 01:13:47,375 Excuse me, but I had a curious incident with a coffee. 783 01:13:47,583 --> 01:13:50,208 - Why did he summon us? - I have no idea. 784 01:13:50,416 --> 01:13:54,250 - Do you know? - You can go. That way. 785 01:13:55,875 --> 01:13:57,500 Let's hope it will go well. 786 01:14:00,458 --> 01:14:02,000 After you. 787 01:14:03,833 --> 01:14:07,500 - What are you doing? - I thought you wanted to dance. 788 01:14:08,791 --> 01:14:10,416 May I? 789 01:14:23,541 --> 01:14:26,500 Dear Bambacci! Dear Follini! 790 01:14:26,708 --> 01:14:28,750 I am Fantozzi and he is Filini. 791 01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:31,291 What are you doing next weekend? 792 01:14:31,541 --> 01:14:35,958 We were thinking of staying in the company working some overtime. 793 01:14:36,208 --> 01:14:39,750 I own a little boat, it costs me a billion, 794 01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:42,333 but I am also democratic. 795 01:14:42,583 --> 01:14:45,375 My family is you poor people. 796 01:14:45,625 --> 01:14:48,916 - Like. - You wretches! 797 01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:54,041 You inferiors! That's the word for it. 798 01:14:54,250 --> 01:14:59,125 My dear inferiors! As you well know, I love beggars very much. 799 01:14:59,375 --> 01:15:02,000 Would you be willing to be my guests on my little boat? 800 01:15:02,250 --> 01:15:06,125 - I would. - He would and so would I. 801 01:15:06,375 --> 01:15:09,500 Great, now get the fuck out of here. 802 01:15:09,708 --> 01:15:13,541 - You can go. - Thank you, marquis duke count, 803 01:15:13,750 --> 01:15:16,750 of the preference really... Really... 804 01:15:16,958 --> 01:15:19,166 We are moved! Let's go. 805 01:15:29,875 --> 01:15:31,375 Watch out! 806 01:15:33,166 --> 01:15:36,416 Damn, Fantozzi! What have you done? 807 01:15:36,625 --> 01:15:39,458 I did not see him because I was looking at the boats! 808 01:15:39,666 --> 01:15:41,875 - Poor guy! - Did you get hurt? 809 01:15:43,166 --> 01:15:46,416 - He's English! Do you speak English? - Yes. 810 01:15:46,625 --> 01:15:50,208 - Ask him if he's hurt. - So. What did you say? 811 01:15:50,416 --> 01:15:52,625 - Are you hurt? - Yes! 812 01:15:55,250 --> 01:15:57,416 - What did he say? - All right. 813 01:15:57,625 --> 01:15:59,916 - Where is the boat? - There! 814 01:16:03,083 --> 01:16:06,083 Dearest! Dearest inferiors! 815 01:16:06,333 --> 01:16:08,458 Welcome! 816 01:16:08,666 --> 01:16:11,291 - Good morning, Duke Marquis. - Good morning, Mr. Admiral. 817 01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:14,541 - My respects. - We must come up... 818 01:16:14,750 --> 01:16:16,791 Yes, dear ones. 819 01:16:17,041 --> 01:16:20,208 - Go up. - No, you first. 820 01:16:20,458 --> 01:16:22,500 - No, you. - You go. 821 01:16:22,750 --> 01:16:26,541 - Get up. Don't be afraid. - I'm a total rookie. 822 01:16:40,875 --> 01:16:42,875 What did you do? 823 01:16:44,458 --> 01:16:46,125 This... 824 01:16:50,916 --> 01:16:53,541 - You are losing water. - What are you doing, Sbarbozzi? 825 01:16:53,750 --> 01:16:56,500 Since the day is hot, I wanted to freshen up. 826 01:16:56,708 --> 01:16:59,375 You've done well, now embark. 827 01:16:59,625 --> 01:17:04,041 - After you. - I would like to give up... No. 828 01:17:04,250 --> 01:17:06,583 I'm going to approach it more cautiously. 829 01:17:13,750 --> 01:17:15,833 Come! 830 01:17:16,083 --> 01:17:18,666 I'm not feeling confident, but.... 831 01:17:24,208 --> 01:17:27,833 That's it, one more step... Very good! 832 01:17:28,666 --> 01:17:31,875 Come, Filini, I made it! 833 01:17:32,958 --> 01:17:34,666 For fuck's sake! 834 01:17:36,041 --> 01:17:39,375 Sorry, I don't want you to think I have a physical attraction to you. 835 01:17:39,583 --> 01:17:43,833 And here, dear trash, this is, finally, the bow part. 836 01:17:44,041 --> 01:17:47,458 I gave you a tour of my boat, my little house. 837 01:17:47,666 --> 01:17:49,750 Parva sed apta mihi! 838 01:17:49,958 --> 01:17:53,458 Here I am happy, even in your company. 839 01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:56,708 - What's up? - The shoes! 840 01:17:56,916 --> 01:18:00,208 I must ask you a small courtesy. Take off your shoes. 841 01:18:00,416 --> 01:18:02,541 Boats are like mosques. 842 01:18:04,500 --> 01:18:06,250 We'll take them off. 843 01:18:07,458 --> 01:18:09,458 - Let's take our shoes off. - Yes. 844 01:18:16,458 --> 01:18:18,833 Give them to me. 845 01:18:20,125 --> 01:18:21,625 Voilà! 846 01:18:24,625 --> 01:18:26,041 Have patience... 847 01:18:26,291 --> 01:18:29,875 Go and freshen up, change your clothes in the crew cabin. 848 01:18:30,125 --> 01:18:34,125 - I mean: the guests. - No hope for the shoes. 849 01:18:35,416 --> 01:18:37,500 Excuse me. Sorry, let me... 850 01:18:37,708 --> 01:18:40,583 We get stuck, we take a serious risk. 851 01:18:40,833 --> 01:18:42,541 Let me... 852 01:18:48,166 --> 01:18:49,583 Watch your head! 853 01:18:51,708 --> 01:18:54,125 Mr. Filini, watch your... 854 01:18:54,333 --> 01:18:55,958 head! 855 01:19:02,166 --> 01:19:07,708 One more thing, inferior ones. There are no slackers on a boat. 856 01:19:07,916 --> 01:19:10,083 There are lots of little things to do. 857 01:19:10,291 --> 01:19:15,041 We will divide the tasks because on a boat we are all equal. 858 01:19:15,291 --> 01:19:17,583 And now, dear guests, 859 01:19:17,791 --> 01:19:22,583 let's have a nice toast to our cruise. 860 01:19:53,125 --> 01:19:54,916 Because... 861 01:19:55,125 --> 01:19:58,125 I mean I'm going. With your permission. 862 01:20:03,666 --> 01:20:07,791 Let's set sail! Filini, you at the mast. Pull up the anchor. 863 01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:10,333 Bambocci, release the moorings. 864 01:20:10,541 --> 01:20:13,541 - Fantozzi. - Yes, Fantocci. The moorings! 865 01:20:16,250 --> 01:20:19,625 - Filini, you block it. - Yes. 866 01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:24,125 - Bambocci, undo the rope. - Yes, it's this, isn't it? 867 01:20:24,333 --> 01:20:26,875 Ah, no, it's that one. Yes, it's this one. 868 01:20:27,125 --> 01:20:30,666 - Not that one, the other one! - Yes, the other one. 869 01:20:33,250 --> 01:20:35,500 Hurry up, Bambocci! 870 01:20:39,375 --> 01:20:41,000 I'll explain later... 871 01:20:42,666 --> 01:20:46,291 - Filini, take off the fenders. - I'm going. 872 01:20:51,000 --> 01:20:52,833 Hear that siren? 873 01:21:04,250 --> 01:21:06,708 - What is this button? - It's the speed. 874 01:21:06,916 --> 01:21:09,083 - What about this one? - Right engine. 875 01:21:09,291 --> 01:21:11,708 - Right engine. - Left engine. 876 01:21:11,916 --> 01:21:14,166 - Switch. - What about this button? 877 01:21:18,250 --> 01:21:22,000 - It's got a nice strong sound. - It's ultra-powerful. 878 01:21:22,208 --> 01:21:24,208 18,000 mega-sounds! 879 01:21:29,583 --> 01:21:34,458 Here I am, Mr. Count, there is a very slight roll. 880 01:21:35,875 --> 01:21:38,166 Very slight, but very insi... 881 01:21:38,958 --> 01:21:41,958 - Very... - Beccacci, pour! 882 01:21:42,208 --> 01:21:46,500 I'm getting close... It's very insidious! 883 01:21:47,208 --> 01:21:51,750 - What about my wine? - It's getting colder. 884 01:21:52,625 --> 01:21:54,541 Here I am... 885 01:22:13,541 --> 01:22:16,375 Hey! Here we are! 886 01:22:19,666 --> 01:22:24,333 Let's anchor here! Ready for the maneuver! 887 01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:28,041 Get the hawser. 888 01:22:29,125 --> 01:22:31,333 I didn't quite understand. 889 01:22:31,583 --> 01:22:35,500 - Get the hawser! - Get it or he'll get upset. 890 01:22:35,708 --> 01:22:37,708 Is this it? 891 01:22:37,916 --> 01:22:40,333 All right, I'll get it. 892 01:22:40,541 --> 01:22:43,916 - Should I do three laps or four? - What are you doing? Get it! 893 01:22:44,125 --> 01:22:47,666 - You tie it there! - I will tie it there. 894 01:22:47,875 --> 01:22:50,375 - I don't remember... - Take the boathook. 895 01:22:50,625 --> 01:22:54,500 - Where is the boathook? - Have you seen a small sailor? 896 01:22:54,708 --> 01:22:56,583 - No. - Is he from Sardinia? 897 01:22:56,833 --> 01:23:00,541 - Look for it behind the tang. - Go behind the tang. 898 01:23:00,750 --> 01:23:03,666 Behind the tang! Ah, the tang! 899 01:23:03,916 --> 01:23:05,541 The tang! 900 01:23:08,500 --> 01:23:10,708 To the winch! Filini, drop the anchor! 901 01:23:10,916 --> 01:23:14,083 You, Mamozzi, at the anchor of respect, at the stern! 902 01:23:14,333 --> 01:23:17,375 My name is Fantozzi. 903 01:23:17,583 --> 01:23:20,708 This one is very dangerous. 904 01:23:20,916 --> 01:23:23,000 Good morning, Madam. 905 01:23:23,250 --> 01:23:25,541 Bacherozzi, hurry up! 906 01:23:25,750 --> 01:23:27,916 Hurry up, the boat is turning. 907 01:23:31,500 --> 01:23:33,250 Here it is. 908 01:23:59,958 --> 01:24:02,500 Mr. Fantozzi, what have you done? 909 01:24:02,708 --> 01:24:07,083 I wanted to refresh myself. 910 01:24:07,291 --> 01:24:11,000 - Yes? How is the water? - It's gorgeous. 911 01:24:11,208 --> 01:24:13,791 - I would like to take a dip myself. - You do it! 912 01:24:15,541 --> 01:24:17,375 Make room! 913 01:24:32,083 --> 01:24:34,375 Mr. Filini, are you all right? 914 01:24:39,125 --> 01:24:43,083 Careful, I had with this lady an unforgettable experience. 915 01:24:54,791 --> 01:24:57,333 Skeet shooting! Filini, the rifle! 916 01:24:58,708 --> 01:25:00,708 - Skeet shooting! - Watch out, it's loaded! 917 01:25:00,916 --> 01:25:03,666 - Is it loaded? - Pupazzi! The score. 918 01:25:03,875 --> 01:25:05,708 - Do you have the score? - I cured it... 919 01:25:05,916 --> 01:25:08,666 - The scorekeeper! - Here it is! 920 01:25:08,875 --> 01:25:10,875 You point it towards the duke. 921 01:25:12,000 --> 01:25:15,291 Ready? Disc! 922 01:25:22,583 --> 01:25:25,625 - What disc did you throw? - That one. 923 01:25:26,291 --> 01:25:29,041 It was a silver plate, antique, 18th century, English. 924 01:25:29,291 --> 01:25:31,166 18th century? But I... 925 01:25:31,375 --> 01:25:33,791 Take the discs in the galley. 926 01:25:34,041 --> 01:25:36,500 Filini, let's have a contest, two discs each. 927 01:25:36,708 --> 01:25:38,916 - The bullet is in! - Here? 928 01:25:40,458 --> 01:25:42,250 - You start. - Me? 929 01:25:42,458 --> 01:25:44,208 - You point it... - Excuse me. 930 01:25:44,458 --> 01:25:50,000 - Practical, isn't it? - No, he's not used to... 931 01:25:50,208 --> 01:25:53,083 - Meanwhile I... - Bacherozzi, where are you going? 932 01:25:53,291 --> 01:25:55,833 You keep the score and throw the discs. 933 01:25:56,041 --> 01:25:58,291 Filini, ready to shoot! Disc! 934 01:25:58,500 --> 01:26:01,041 The disc is ready. Disc! 935 01:26:03,541 --> 01:26:06,333 - Missed! - Sorry. 936 01:26:06,541 --> 01:26:08,416 I told you... 937 01:26:08,666 --> 01:26:11,708 - Another shot, ready? - Yes. 938 01:26:11,916 --> 01:26:14,333 - Disc! - Disc! 939 01:26:15,583 --> 01:26:17,416 Missed! 940 01:26:20,916 --> 01:26:25,166 - Missed! Missed. - Missed again. 941 01:26:25,375 --> 01:26:27,458 He really missed it. 942 01:26:27,708 --> 01:26:31,708 - Bambozzi, now you shoot. - No, I prefer... 943 01:26:31,916 --> 01:26:35,833 - Take the rifle, it's your turn. - Give me the board. 944 01:26:36,083 --> 01:26:38,375 - Come on, Filini, disc! - Here. 945 01:26:38,583 --> 01:26:41,291 Ready, Cagnacci? Disc! 946 01:26:49,458 --> 01:26:52,833 - Keep the rifle. - Make it all go away! 947 01:26:53,083 --> 01:26:57,041 Let's get out of here, hide everything, let's set sail! 948 01:26:58,833 --> 01:27:00,958 Watch out for your head. 949 01:27:01,208 --> 01:27:03,583 Watch out for your... 950 01:27:03,833 --> 01:27:07,833 In the return trip the Duke Count Barambani, 951 01:27:08,041 --> 01:27:10,250 due to a bloody engine failure, 952 01:27:10,458 --> 01:27:14,375 divided again the tasks with his guests. 953 01:27:21,250 --> 01:27:25,125 At the end of the summer, faced with the tragic prospect 954 01:27:25,333 --> 01:27:27,958 of a new year of repugnant work, 955 01:27:28,166 --> 01:27:30,875 Fantozzi was taken by his usual crisis 956 01:27:31,083 --> 01:27:33,958 of impatience and rebellion. 957 01:27:38,833 --> 01:27:41,166 The megapresident is an asshole. 958 01:27:43,166 --> 01:27:46,041 Sometimes I feel like I want to write it in the sky. Like this! 959 01:27:59,458 --> 01:28:01,291 What's going on? 960 01:28:03,500 --> 01:28:06,625 - But how is it possible? - Come and see! 961 01:28:13,000 --> 01:28:15,000 It's a joke! 962 01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:19,000 The Grand Council of the Absent Ten 963 01:28:19,208 --> 01:28:22,041 subjected everyone to a handwriting comparison. 964 01:28:22,250 --> 01:28:25,500 - What do they do? - They make you write that sentence. 965 01:28:25,708 --> 01:28:28,708 - That's bullshit, Sweetcheeks. - It's your turn. 966 01:28:35,541 --> 01:28:38,791 Have you seen the phrase they make... He doesn't give confidence. 967 01:28:41,833 --> 01:28:43,833 Give it to me. 968 01:28:50,041 --> 01:28:52,041 No, it's not him. 969 01:28:53,458 --> 01:28:56,291 - Go. - Thank you, my respects. 970 01:28:56,541 --> 01:28:58,458 - Go! - Sorry. 971 01:28:58,666 --> 01:29:01,875 - My respects to you as well. - Get out now! 972 01:29:03,125 --> 01:29:05,125 You need to get out, please. 973 01:29:05,333 --> 01:29:07,541 Next one! 974 01:29:38,416 --> 01:29:40,416 He closed... 975 01:29:41,750 --> 01:29:44,000 Write that vile sentence. 976 01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:47,458 I have no hands. 977 01:29:47,666 --> 01:29:50,875 - And what are these? - They're paralyzed. 978 01:29:51,125 --> 01:29:53,083 Don't be a clown, write it down. 979 01:29:53,333 --> 01:29:57,250 Type? I don't have a pen. 980 01:29:58,708 --> 01:30:01,083 These are fake. 981 01:30:02,125 --> 01:30:03,833 Write. 982 01:30:05,375 --> 01:30:08,041 - With the right hand. - Of course, with the right. 983 01:30:08,250 --> 01:30:10,708 I'll write, then. 984 01:30:10,916 --> 01:30:13,541 Here we go, ready. 985 01:30:14,583 --> 01:30:17,416 - I am illiterate. - Write! 986 01:30:17,666 --> 01:30:21,166 I write, all right. Just like... 987 01:30:24,833 --> 01:30:29,000 Here, I also put the exclamation point. 988 01:30:42,541 --> 01:30:45,041 - It's him. - You wrote your thoughts! 989 01:30:45,291 --> 01:30:48,666 - But... - I'll have you slaughtered, 990 01:30:48,875 --> 01:30:52,125 cut you up, put you in a suitcase and send it to Olbia! 991 01:30:53,375 --> 01:30:56,250 And me, you damned carrion, I'll rip off your ears, arms and legs, 992 01:30:56,458 --> 01:30:59,083 put them in a suitcase and send everything to Olbia by air! 993 01:30:59,333 --> 01:31:02,041 I cut you in four, close you in a trunk and send it to Olbia! 994 01:31:02,291 --> 01:31:05,333 In Olbia you have instituted 995 01:31:05,541 --> 01:31:08,458 the new collection center? 996 01:31:08,708 --> 01:31:11,041 - Scoundrel! - Scoundrel! 997 01:31:11,250 --> 01:31:13,541 - Bastard! - Buffoon! 998 01:31:19,708 --> 01:31:22,208 Mega-president Archangel! 999 01:31:23,208 --> 01:31:25,500 Have a seat, dear Fantozzi. 1000 01:31:30,208 --> 01:31:32,208 It was you, wasn't it? 1001 01:31:41,625 --> 01:31:43,333 I knew it. 1002 01:31:44,833 --> 01:31:46,416 Please. 1003 01:31:51,166 --> 01:31:53,666 You will be pleased to have your wife next to you 1004 01:31:53,875 --> 01:31:55,875 at this time of your life. 1005 01:31:58,250 --> 01:32:00,500 Are you convinced of what you wrote about me? 1006 01:32:01,458 --> 01:32:03,625 I don't... 1007 01:32:03,833 --> 01:32:07,333 I didn't write it, I just thought it. 1008 01:32:07,541 --> 01:32:12,000 You don't have to think. This is your mistake. 1009 01:32:13,916 --> 01:32:15,583 Come with me. 1010 01:32:18,958 --> 01:32:22,500 Go ahead and cancel it. 1011 01:32:30,166 --> 01:32:32,000 Bravo, Fantozzi. 1012 01:32:32,208 --> 01:32:36,166 And now you'll write about yourself what you wrote about me. 1013 01:32:46,125 --> 01:32:49,625 No, remove "a bit of". 1014 01:33:04,541 --> 01:33:07,333 Bravo, Fantozzi! 1015 01:33:07,583 --> 01:33:11,666 And be sure not to delete it. 1016 01:33:11,916 --> 01:33:13,916 Very kind of you, sire. 1017 01:33:22,541 --> 01:33:24,541 Does it show a lot? 1018 01:33:25,541 --> 01:33:28,791 No, not so much. And then just don't look. 1019 01:33:29,583 --> 01:33:33,875 Yeah, just don't read. They made a fool out of me. 1020 01:33:34,083 --> 01:33:38,041 Holy shit! But if they think to take me out, they're wrong 1021 01:33:38,291 --> 01:33:42,083 because I have a feature and they don't know it. 1022 01:33:42,291 --> 01:33:45,041 I am indestructible and do you know why? 1023 01:33:45,250 --> 01:33:47,833 Because I'm the biggest loser of all time. 1024 01:33:48,041 --> 01:33:50,041 I always lost everything. 1025 01:33:50,875 --> 01:33:53,750 Two World Wars, one Colonial Empire, 1026 01:33:53,958 --> 01:33:56,625 eight consecutive World Cups in a row, 1027 01:33:56,875 --> 01:34:00,416 the ability to purchase of the lira, confidence in the Government. 1028 01:34:07,541 --> 01:34:12,291 And my head for a monst... a woman like you. 1029 01:34:15,208 --> 01:34:17,875 Here it is! Here he comes! 1030 01:34:29,291 --> 01:34:32,833 Yes, laugh! Laugh! 1031 01:34:33,791 --> 01:34:36,791 But he who laughs last laughs best. 1032 01:34:38,041 --> 01:34:40,625 Say what you will, but I I'm a very successful man. 1033 01:34:40,875 --> 01:34:43,666 - Fantozzo. - Yes, tell me. 1034 01:34:46,583 --> 01:34:49,208 All right, not successful. 1035 01:34:49,416 --> 01:34:51,750 But let's at least say I'm lucky. 1036 01:34:53,416 --> 01:34:55,916 What am I missing? I have everything. 1037 01:34:56,125 --> 01:34:58,750 I have a wonderful fair-rent home, 1038 01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:01,458 I have a 99-channel remote control. 1039 01:35:02,750 --> 01:35:05,291 A wonderful daughter... 1040 01:35:06,250 --> 01:35:09,250 Wonderful!!! And a faithful wife. 1041 01:35:09,458 --> 01:35:12,083 I am the happiest of all. I want to play! 1042 01:35:12,333 --> 01:35:17,750 Move, Mariangela, I am ve-ry... 1043 01:35:18,000 --> 01:35:20,291 Lu-cky!